Speedos – Do or Don’t?

Speedos – Do or Don’t?

Speedos, the word brings up some pretty clear mental pictures.

Scuba BikiniAs a female diver, I have the luxury of slipping my wetsuit over either my skin tight swim suit or barely there (back in the day) bikini. It is comfy, easy and I feel like I am only wearing my suit. After the dive I then get to peel off my wetsuit and am ready to strut (again back in the day) around the dive boat/shop/beach in my teeny tiny bikini without a care in the world. So why is it so different for men!

Let’s talk board shorts versus wetsuits a fight the wetsuit will always win! Not being a man, I can only watch as my male counterparts struggle with pulling their wetsuits up over their baggy board shorts. The hands are constantly pulling the wetsuit up while desperately trying to stop the board shorts from bunching up. The hand slide is the next step – quite bizarre to watch and rather worrying if you do not know exactly what is happening – essentially the wetsuit is now up to the waist and now the hands are being jammed down the front of the suit and look like they are rubbing up and down – the leg area people! What they are actually trying to do is to grab the bottom of their board shorts and pull them down towards the knees. Not an easy feat when you are wearing a tight neoprene suit. It also looks funny, takes forever and must feel uncomfortable, meanwhile after 2 minutes I am suited and booted and waiting to jump in the water and start the dive.

SpeedoSolution = speedos!! Yup I said it; men should invest in either a pair of speedos or those tight little shorts that mainly European men tend to go for (?) The speedo is essentially the male bikini. It is tight and easy to slip a wetsuit over. No fussing, no pulling, no time involved and you are ready to jump in and start your dive along with your female buddy.

After the dive is where the issues lie!! For a female it is perfectly acceptable for us to wander around in our skimpy bikinis or swim suits with normally no complaints from our male counter parts. So why is it so unacceptable for men to do the same in speedos! For a very simple reason – unless you are Michael Phelps for the love of god cover up!!! No one wants to see it…….and you know what I mean by it…..

Speedo StrutThere is an accepted time frame of around 2-4 minutes (I have done the research) where a male diver has the time to rip off his wetsuit and quickly (normally self-consciously) head straight towards their dry gear and don their nice baggy board shorts. At this point they can now relax and strut their stuff knowing they are fully covered and not offending anyone in the vicinity!

Maybe this all stems from being married to a Canadian. Most North American men (sorry to generalize here) tend to err more towards the surfer style of baggy board shorts rather than European men (again I apologize for stereotyping) who tend to love wearing the skimpiest, tightest speedos they can possible find and let’s face it most men who are seen wearing these love to strut their stuff!!